Editor's note: Chris Scherff is back, and this time his target is Ohio's other professional football squad.
Before I get startdd, I want you to take a minute and relish beating the Steelers last week.
That was awesome, wasn't it? Now put it behind you and let's focus on this week. We have two division road games coming up. I get the feeling many of you are looking past the Browns to next week's matchup against the Ravens. Stop it! Both are equally important, but the Browns game is arguably more important. Beating Baltimore at Baltimore is a game not many will pick us to win, and if we lose, we still get to see them at home thus preserving the chance for a split. On the other hand, everyone is picking us to win this weekend in Cleveland. We need the Cleveland game to set the pace in the division and give us momentum going into Baltimore. We lose to Cleveland and that would be two losses we let squeeze through our fingers early in the season. And that will haunt us in December when we're looking for a playoff spot. Besides, let's face it, the Bengals have been known to lose games they should win.
This game matters. It matters to us and it matters to Cleveland because they have a team on the verge of implosion and a coach on the verge of losing his job. They are getting desperate -- and desperate is dangerous. I won't be the only person to remind you that in 2007, Romeo Crennel was the odds on favorite for the dubious title of "First Coach Fired." After week one, they benched and traded their starting QB and journeyman Derek Anderson was given the nod. We all quickly circled a win on our calendars. Somebody forgot to tell the Browns to roll over and die, and so Derek Anderson went on to scorch us for 328 yards and five touchdowns. This week ain't no lay up, this ain't no party, this ain't no foolin' around.
QB Derek Anderson: We cannot give him time to make plays. I want him uncomfortable in the pocket. I want him planted like a tulip bulb. I want him on his back more than a cheap whore during Fleet Week. I want him wearing Odom and Geathers like a big nasty Bengal jacket.
WR Braylon Edwards: Sir Drops-a-Lot will get his share of looks this week. Our goal is to hit him every time he catches the ball. I want him hit so hard that by the 3rd quarter, he's decided his Sundays would be much better spent knitting than playing against our secondary.
Joshua Cribbs: Somebody needs to eat him up on kick returns. No really. I normally don't condone cannibalism, but this game's too important to be having big returns against us. I say don't feed Pat Sims breakfast and then get out of his way.
The Browns
Defense: The Browns
defense has had success against us in the past. They also have five sacks on the
year and a couple of forced fumbles. Mangini has been stressing a return to
fundamentals as they prepare for this week's game. Fundamentals are fine,
but I say it's time to get all Olivia Newton John on these clowns. That's right, I want to get physical. Every time Browns' OLB
Wimbely comes off the edge to get pressure, I want someone to hit him in the
mouth. On run plays, I want Chad and Laveranues Coles to hit cornerbacks Wright
and McDonald in the mouth. If that safety gets in Benson's way on a 12-yard rushing play, that's right, I expect him to get hit in the mouth. On every play, on every down, somebody better be hitting somebody. Preferably in the mouth.
The Browns are on the edge of total demoralization. I figure physical abuse and cannibalism will be just enough to push them over that ravine and give us a win.
Remember, if
it's brown, flush it down! Who Dey!
-- Crowd Noises is an occasional user-submitted blog from readers like you. If you have a column in you that just needs an audience, email ctrent@cnati.com and you could be more than just another voice in the crowd.
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